


Lance was Tired

by EyesWatchingUs



Category: Voltron - Fandom
Genre: (UPD is a term I made up. But it sounds like a real thing. So..), Lance was Tired, Lance with intrusive thoughts, Langst, M/M, Unspecified Personality Disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-04-24 07:48:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14351094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EyesWatchingUs/pseuds/EyesWatchingUs
Summary: Lance was tired. He wanted to stop thinking. He didn’t want to think about Keith. Lance didn’t want to feel ignored anymore. Lance doesn’t get what he wants.A bit of a vent.





	1. Chapter 1

Lance woke up at three in the morning. It was the fifth time this week.…..Or quintant. The only reason he knew what time it was, was because of the thrumming ache that was only  _ that _ loud at three A.M. He curled up on his side.

  “ **_Everyone else is asleep. You could give them scars to match Shiro’s._ ** **_”_ ** The ache said to him.

_ “Riiiight, because noooothing says paladin bonding like assault.”  _ Lance mentally berated.

**_“_ ** **_You wish you could assault Keith. It would be so easy.”_ **

_ “Fuck off.” _

**_“Fuck Keith in his sleep.”_ **

“Wha-what that’s so far from okay, what the fuck is wrong with you.” 

      “Jeez, I was just checking up on you. There’s no reason to be so mean.” Keith said through the door. Lance shrieked. 

       “What the fuck?” Keith left. Lance blinked. 

_ “It was probably just a dream.”  _ He thought.

 

ⓣⓗⓐⓣ ⓜⓞⓡⓝⓘⓝⓖ

 

Lance tiredly picked at his goo, listening to Pidge and Matt talk about constellations around the universe. Keith was talking to Shiro. 

   “I’m usually up until eleven.” Keith explained. 

          “I wake up at three sometimes.” Lance offered. They didn’t respond to him, continuing their own conversation. The fourth time today.

**_“They hate you.”_ **

_ “They love me! They’re my friends! I’m their sharpshooter.” _

**_“They’re just using you like you’re using them.”_ **

_ “Shut up.” _

__ **_“Keith hATES YOU! YOU WANTED TO FUCK HIM IN HIS SLEEP!”_ **

_ “Shut up.” _

__ **_“If THEY KNEW WHAT YOU WERE REALLY LIKE, THEY’D HATE YOU.”_ **

“Shut up.” Lance muttered. Hunk, who had been talking to him about wearing crocs and socks chortled.

**_“Get up.”_ ** The ache snarled.

Lance was tired. He wanted to stop thinking. He didn’t want to think about Keith. Lance didn’t want to feel ignored anymore. 

 “ _ I don’t get what I want. So, I guess I’ll stop trying, I guess I’ll start listening to you.”  _ He thought. Lance got up. Hunk thought he was upset by crocs.

**_“Go to the the landing bay.”_ **

Lance went to the landing bay.

**_“Open the airlock.”_ **

_ “But, it’ll be cold outside.” _

__ **_“JUST FUCKING DO IT YOU PUSSY.”_ **

Lance lifted his hand shakily. 

   “Lance! What are you doing!?” Keith yelled.

**_“Repeat after me: I was looking at the airlock control and it looked loose.”_ **

            “I was looking at the airlock control and it looked loose.” Lance repeated.

   “The airlock control looks loose?” Keith’s brow furrowed. “Don’t touch it.”

**_“IDIOT IDIOT IDIOT IDIOT IDIOT IDIOT IDIOT”_ **

_       “I WAS DOING WHAT YOU TOLD ME TO DO!” _

“Are you okay? You’ve been spacey.”

      “We’re in space.” Lance blurted. 

“I know. Are you okay?” Keith strode forth.

      “I’m tired.” Lance admitted, leaning against the wall. 

**_“IDIOT IDIOT IDIOT IDIOT IDIOT IDIOT IDIOT”_ **  The ache screamed.

   “You wanna take a nap together?” Keith asked.

**_“Don’t do it, you would end up fucking him in his sleep.”_ **

        “No.” Lance looked out the window. It was a beautiful day to die. 

  “Okay. See you later.” Keith said as he walked off. He paused. “You better get some sleep soon.”

“I’m going to sleep forever.” Lance blurted. Keith laughed as he left. 

 

                         Lance opened the airlock.

  
  
  
  



	2. Hirespi’s Theme

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍s̪̭̱̼̼̉̈́ͪ͋̽̚k̲̱̠̞̖ͧ̔͊̇̽̿̑ͯͅ  
> a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍n͉̠̙͉̗̺̋̋̔ͧ̊d̥̝̮͙͈͂̐̇ͮ̏̔̀̚ͅ y͉̝͖̻̯ͮ̒̂ͮ͋ͫͨo͎̜̓̇ͫ̉͊ͨ͊u̟͎̲͕̼̳͉̲ͮͫͭ̋ͭ͛ͣ̈ w̠̘̗͖̮̥ͣ̽ͫ͂i̞̟̫̺ͭ̒ͭͣl͕͖͉̭̰ͬ̍ͤ͆̊ͨl͕͖͉̭̰ͬ̍ͤ͆̊ͨ r̼̯̤̈ͭ̃ͨ̆e̮̟͈̣̖̰̩̹͈̾ͨ̑͑c͔ͣͦ́́͂ͅi̞̟̫̺ͭ̒ͭͣv̪̩̜̜̙̜ͨ̽̄e̮̟͈̣̖̰̩̹͈̾ͨ̑͑

The first thing Lance noticed after was the screaming outside his head. 

  
  
  
  


The second thing he noticed was the silence inside his head.

  
  


The third thing he noticed was pain. s̪̭̱̼̼̉̈́ͪ͋̽̚o͎̜̓̇ͫ̉͊ͨ͊ m̘͈̺̪͓ͩ͂̾ͪ̀̋u̟͎̲͕̼̳͉̲ͮͫͭ̋ͭ͛ͣ̈c͔ͣͦ́́͂ͅh͚̖̜̍̃͐ p̱̱̬̻̞̩͎̌ͦ̏a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍i̞̟̫̺ͭ̒ͭͣn͉̠̙͉̗̺̋̋̔ͧ̊

                                                                s̪̭̱̼̼̉̈́ͪ͋̽̚o͎̜̓̇ͫ̉͊ͨ͊ m̘͈̺̪͓ͩ͂̾ͪ̀̋u̟͎̲͕̼̳͉̲ͮͫͭ̋ͭ͛ͣ̈c͔ͣͦ́́͂ͅh͚̖̜̍̃͐ p̱̱̬̻̞̩͎̌ͦ̏a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍i̞̟̫̺ͭ̒ͭͣn͉̠̙͉̗̺̋̋̔ͧ̊

                                                                s̪̭̱̼̼̉̈́ͪ͋̽̚o͎̜̓̇ͫ̉͊ͨ͊ m̘͈̺̪͓ͩ͂̾ͪ̀̋u̟͎̲͕̼̳͉̲ͮͫͭ̋ͭ͛ͣ̈c͔ͣͦ́́͂ͅh͚̖̜̍̃͐ p̱̱̬̻̞̩͎̌ͦ̏a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍i̞̟̫̺ͭ̒ͭͣn͉̠̙͉̗̺̋̋̔ͧ̊

 

Or at least until…

  
  


“ **_l͕͖͉̭̰ͬ̍ͤ͆̊ͨa̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍n͉̠̙͉̗̺̋̋̔ͧ̊c͔ͣͦ́́͂ͅe̮̟͈̣̖̰̩̹͈̾ͨ̑͑ d̥̝̮͙͈͂̐̇ͮ̏̔̀̚ͅi̞̟̫̺ͭ̒ͭͣd̥̝̮͙͈͂̐̇ͮ̏̔̀̚ͅ y͉̝͖̻̯ͮ̒̂ͮ͋ͫͨo͎̜̓̇ͫ̉͊ͨ͊u̟͎̲͕̼̳͉̲ͮͫͭ̋ͭ͛ͣ̈ t̘̟̼̉̈́͐͋͌̊h͚̖̜̍̃͐i̞̟̫̺ͭ̒ͭͣn͉̠̙͉̗̺̋̋̔ͧ̊k̲̱̠̞̖ͧ̔͊̇̽̿̑ͯͅ t̘̟̼̉̈́͐͋͌̊h͚̖̜̍̃͐a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍t̘̟̼̉̈́͐͋͌̊ y͉̝͖̻̯ͮ̒̂ͮ͋ͫͨo͎̜̓̇ͫ̉͊ͨ͊u̟͎̲͕̼̳͉̲ͮͫͭ̋ͭ͛ͣ̈ c͔ͣͦ́́͂ͅo͎̜̓̇ͫ̉͊ͨ͊u̟͎̲͕̼̳͉̲ͮͫͭ̋ͭ͛ͣ̈l͕͖͉̭̰ͬ̍ͤ͆̊ͨd̥̝̮͙͈͂̐̇ͮ̏̔̀̚ͅ g͎͚̥͎͔͕ͥ̿e̮̟͈̣̖̰̩̹͈̾ͨ̑͑t̘̟̼̉̈́͐͋͌̊ r̼̯̤̈ͭ̃ͨ̆i̞̟̫̺ͭ̒ͭͣd̥̝̮͙͈͂̐̇ͮ̏̔̀̚ͅ o͎̜̓̇ͫ̉͊ͨ͊f̳͉̼͉̙͔͈̂̉ m̘͈̺̪͓ͩ͂̾ͪ̀̋e̮̟͈̣̖̰̩̹͈̾ͨ̑͑? i̞̟̫̺ͭ̒ͭͣ’m̘͈̺̪͓ͩ͂̾ͪ̀̋ y͉̝͖̻̯ͮ̒̂ͮ͋ͫͨo͎̜̓̇ͫ̉͊ͨ͊u̟͎̲͕̼̳͉̲ͮͫͭ̋ͭ͛ͣ̈r̼̯̤̈ͭ̃ͨ̆ r̼̯̤̈ͭ̃ͨ̆e̮̟͈̣̖̰̩̹͈̾ͨ̑͑a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍l͕͖͉̭̰ͬ̍ͤ͆̊ͨ p̱̱̬̻̞̩͎̌ͦ̏e̮̟͈̣̖̰̩̹͈̾ͨ̑͑r̼̯̤̈ͭ̃ͨ̆s̪̭̱̼̼̉̈́ͪ͋̽̚o͎̜̓̇ͫ̉͊ͨ͊n͉̠̙͉̗̺̋̋̔ͧ̊a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍l͕͖͉̭̰ͬ̍ͤ͆̊ͨi̞̟̫̺ͭ̒ͭͣt̘̟̼̉̈́͐͋͌̊y͉̝͖̻̯ͮ̒̂ͮ͋ͫͨ!”_ **

_ “Shut up Shut up Shut up Shut up Shut up Shut up Shut up Shut up. Shut up Shut up Shut up Shut up Shut up Shut up Shut up Shut up Shut up. Shut up Shut up Shut up Shut up Shut up Shut up Shut up Shut up.” _

__ **_“Don’t shush me! I’m still here. That means you are too. This is a problem, g͎͚̥͎͔͕ͥ̿o͎̜̓̇ͫ̉͊ͨ͊o͎̜̓̇ͫ̉͊ͨ͊f̳͉̼͉̙͔͈̂̉b͎̣̫͈̥̗͒͌̃͑̔̾ͅa̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍l͕͖͉̭̰ͬ̍ͤ͆̊ͨl͕͖͉̭̰ͬ̍ͤ͆̊ͨ.”_ **

_ “It doesn’t matter.” _

__

“ L a n c e? B u d d y? Y o u  t h e r e?” 

 

“ _ Keith!”  _  Lance strained to speak, but found he couldn’t. His eyes were closed. Why were they closed? Why couldn’t he move? Lance was being placed in a healing pod. He knew that feeling. 

Then, he couldn’t feel anything.

 

When he regained consciousness, he felt as though time had passed. A light was shone into his eyes. Lance blinked.

   “Lance! You’re okay!” Allura smiled at him.

“There’s my goofball.” Keith whispered.

      “ **Don’t fucking call me that.** ” Lance snarled. Keith frowned.

“Are you okay, Lance? Are you in pain?”

       “Of course I’m in pain! I’m looking at  **you** !” Lance inwardly cheered at Keith’s pained expression. Allura gasped. 

   “Keith, it might be better for you to step outside.” Allura winced at Keith’s devastation. The cold look that held his face next was worse. 

        “Sure, that makes sense.” Keith left. Allura turned to glare at Lance.

“Explain yourself, Lance. You love Keith, so why are you being an asshole?”

                “Do I? Do I love him? I’m not  _ gay _ .” 

   “That’s not what I meant and you know it.” 

                 “Isn’t it though? I  **know what you meant** . You can’t fool me like you fool the others!” Lance raved, then looked around panicky. “W-who’s there? Who’s watching me?!”

 Allura’s eyes widened.

“Nobody’s watching you, Lance.” 

     “There’s somebody watching us! I can  **feel it** ! It’s  **Zarkon** !” Lance hissed.

 

ⓄⓊⓉⓈⒾⒹⒺ

 

Keith paced back and forth. 

He stopped when Allura came out.

   “How is he?”

“I….I don’t know. It’s possible he’s retained damage from lack of oxygen. Lance is behaving very erratic.”

   “W….what are we going to do?”

“For now, I’m going to keep him under observation. It may be best to give him a bit of space.”

   “Fuck that, I’m going in.”

“Keith, no!” Allura commanded, already too late.

    “Lance!” Keith cried. Lance slowly turned around, smiling broadly. 

“Keef.” He replied. Allura stared at this Lance. 

   “Lance, are you okay?” 

“That doesn’t matter.”

  “What?”

“The only thing that matters anymore is you!” Lance purred as he face-planted into Keith’s chest. Keith was disturbed, yet flattered.

  “Lance?” He asked.

“Why do you keep calling me Lance?” Lance asked.

  “That’s your name…”

“No, that’s  **his** name, my name is Hirespi.”

 


	3. Spatium Malum’s Theme

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here comes a space Evil *doot doot*

Hirespi looked up at Keith lovenly.

  “Lance is gone right now.” He explained. “He goes away when it gets too painful.” Keith’s face crumpled.

      “P...painful?”

“It told him to kill himself by launching himself out the airlock, and….he failed his mission.”

    “I thought it was an accident…..How did I not….” Keith trailed off. “It? What is  **it** ?”

         “It’s-“ Hirespi clamped his hands over his mouth. “I’m not allowed to tell you yet.” 

     “Yet?” 

“I’m the backup. I don’t have many permissions from Lance or-never mind.”

    “The backup?”

“Just...hah..ask Lance when he gets back. It might take a while, he’s usually gone for a day or two. You have pretty eyes.”

  “Thanks…?” 

“I’m hungry. Does my favworite boy have food?”

  “Hunk?”

“I was talking about you, sweet baby boy~” Hirespi purred as slid his face down to Keith’s upper belly, huffing the red paladin’s scent. Keith flushed red. 

     “H-hunk has food in the kitchen.”

“Mmmm, splendid.”

     “I can’t take you there until you let go of me.” 

Hirespi whined at Keith’s statement. 

 

ⓁⒶⓉⒺⓇ

 

  Hunk twirled around with a sheet of goo-brownies in the kitchen. 

     “Lance! You’re awake! How are you, buddy?” Hunk quickly put the goo down and ran towards him. He stopped when he heard, 

            “I’m not Lance.” 

 “What?” Hunk’s hands shook. This had only happened once before whe-nevermind that, Lance had  _ relapsed _ . Hunk had hoped that Lance was fine without his medication.  _ Apparently not. _ Keith looked askance.

   “He…”

          “Which one?” Hunk looked at his hands.

   “Which…..one?”

                 “I’m Hirespi.” Hirespi informed. Hunk let out a shaky breath. 

         “......that’s good.”

  “Is there another?” Kieth asked. 

        “Yes………. _ it _ .” Hunk hissed, an unusual sound from the leg man. Hirespi frowned. They all hated when people talked over them. It was the one they had in common besides a body. 

               “Talk to me, whouldja?” Hirespi had  _ meant _ to convey humor. Unfortunately  _ it _ twisted their tone to a threatening one. 

       Hunk froze while Kieth laughed.

 

              “ **d̥̝̮͙͈͂̐̇ͮ̏̔̀̚ͅo͎̜̓̇ͫ̉͊ͨ͊n͉̠̙͉̗̺̋̋̔ͧ̊’t̘̟̼̉̈́͐͋͌̊ f̳͉̼͉̙͔͈̂̉u̟͎̲͕̼̳͉̲ͮͫͭ̋ͭ͛ͣ̈c͔ͣͦ́́͂ͅk̲̱̠̞̖ͧ̔͊̇̽̿̑ͯͅi̞̟̫̺ͭ̒ͭͣn͉̠̙͉̗̺̋̋̔ͧ̊g͎͚̥͎͔͕ͥ̿ l͕͖͉̭̰ͬ̍ͤ͆̊ͨa̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍u̟͎̲͕̼̳͉̲ͮͫͭ̋ͭ͛ͣ̈g͎͚̥͎͔͕ͥ̿h͚̖̜̍̃͐ a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍t̘̟̼̉̈́͐͋͌̊ m̘͈̺̪͓ͩ͂̾ͪ̀̋e̮̟͈̣̖̰̩̹͈̾ͨ̑͑** **.** ”  _ It _ said, twisting their face into a caricature of Lance’s. Kieth froze. Something shifted underneath both of their skins. 

  
  
  
  
  



	4. He back

_ It _ stalked up to Keith, who had stopped smiling. 

     “I don’t like when people laugh at  m̘͈̺̪͓ͩ͂̾ͪ̀̋e̮̟͈̣̖̰̩̹͈̾ͨ̑͑ .”  _ It _ snarled. “Do you need to be  _ punished? _ ” 

Keith flushed red and stepped back. Hunk sucked in his breath, and left to get Pidge and Allura. If they could make Pidge’s estrogen, they could make Lance’s medicine…...right? 

 

_ It _ roughly grabbed Keith by the jaw. While Keith would have usually liked the rough treatment, he was concerned for Lance. 

           “I’m going to fuck you up, Red. I’ll make you limp for days afterwards.” 

Keith shivered at the strangely sexual taunt. 

   “Who are you?” He rasped, ignoring his inappropriately excited downstairs. I mean, come on, it was the equivalent of partying during a western funeral. 

         “I’m your worst nightmare.”

  “That’s really genric, can you tell me a name, an affiliation, or something?” 

         “I’m a Galran’s wet dream.”

“Okay…”

         “See you later. You won’t see me but you’ll feel me!” 

“.......What?”

       “Bye!” Something shifted under their skin and they gripped Keith, muscles stiffening.

  
  


   Lance slowly came to. The first thing he noticed was the stiffness in his muscles. Taking deep breaths to calm himself, the second thing he noticed was the warmth. Lance slowly opened his eyes. 

       “Hirespi?” Keith said hopefully. Lance felt resentment boil in his stomach. 

  “You like Hirespi more than me, huh?” Lance whispered, vulnerable in Keith’s arms. 

       “Lance?” 

“Yes?” 

      “Lance. Lance! Lance! You’re back!” Keith was seconds away from crying as he cradled the latino man closer to him. Lance closed his eyes and leaned into Keith. He felt safe. Lance then felt a soft pressure on his mouth. Tears were falling down his face. Lance couldn’t tell if they were his own or Keith’s. A finger traced his cheekbones with delicate care. He faded away, giving up and slipping into sleep. 


	5. Thank you!

I’d like to thank you for supporting me as I write this, really, it means the world. Also I’m going to have a ‘work’ that will be for notes and updates. It’s the one titled “Updates”

**Author's Note:**

> Remember to clear your browser history.


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